I guess it would be easy to kick her while she’s down.  Why didn’t she just move to a less expensive town?  Why didn’t she take a second, legal job?  But what strikes me is the lengths to which some women will go to take care of their children.  I can imagine her feeling like the kids had already gone through enough, just dealing with the divorce.  She probably didn’t want to further disrupt their lives by uprooting them and moving to a new town. 

I certainly don’t condone Brennan’s actions, but I do feel sorry for her.  She must have felt completely desperate to resort to such measures.  Sometimes, divorce really sucks!

Most people would probably automatically say that divorce equals an unsuccessful marriage.   But if a long term marriage eventually fizzles out and results in divorce, does that make it unsuccessful?  What about all those years before the divorce when the couple were happy and built a life together?   If a married couple spend decades of misery together but never divorce, would that be considered a successful marriage?  Is it just a question of sticking it out? 

How would you measure the success of a marriage?

A friend of mine decided 2010 is going to be the year for her to meet Mr. Right.  She’s been single for several years and has had a few relationships along the way, but the last one was over a year ago.  She got a jump start in December by going to a singles event, something she hadn’t done in quite a while.  It was all part of her plan to put herself out there, to give herself more opportunities to meet Mr. Right.  After being at the singles event for a little while, she couldn’t help but think about that saying, “it’s like riding a bicycle.”  It really did come pretty easily and she found herself chatting it up with several men.  By the end of the night, she had given her number to a couple of men.  None really struck her as “Mr. Right” but she was determined to be open-minded and positive.

One called the very next day.  Good, none of that nonsense about waiting three days to call—he already scored a point!  It took several days to coordinate things but finally plans were made to meet.  YAY—the first date of 2010.  She approached the evening with cautious optimism but as soon as they met at the appointed time and place, her heart sank.  “I didn’t think he was a magazine cover, but wasn’t he taller with more hair?” she wondered.  “And what’s with that outfit?” 

She was determined to remain positive as they sat down to have a drink.  While she found him pleasant enough, it became quickly apparent that this was not a match.  Aside from the complete lack of chemistry, she found him to be a bit boring and arrogant.  She stuck it out for a couple of hours and called it a night.

Strike one!  Memories of horrible dates flashed before her eyes.  Did she really want to put herself through this again?  She commiserated with a newly single friend.  Both agreed that it was much too early to give up.  After all, it was only the first week of 2010 and there are 51 more weeks to go.  She resolved to stick with it.  Both women are going to yet another singles event next week.  I can’t wait to hear about her second date of 2010.

• Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren – she stands to get as much as half a billion (yes that’s with a B) dollars!
• Jon and Kate Gosselin – a new reality for them!
• Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins – sad to see that relationship end after 23 years
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil — not so civil after all
• Sean Penn and Robin Wright – they finally divorced after several attempts
• Mel Gibson and wife Robyn – after 28 years and seven children
• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley – so much for their happy ending
• North Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and wife Jenny – don’t cry for them Argentina

Any predictions for 2010?

Tiger’s beautiful wife, the Swedish model Elin Nordegren, has apparently decided she’s had enough.  She’s moved out of their Florida home and has bought a mansion on a private island off the coast of Stockholm.

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The couple married in October 2004. They have a 2-year-old daughter and an infant son…a yacht, some mansions, and of course an iron-clad pre-nup.

They haven’t announced plans to divorce yet, and who knows they may stay together. Some media outlets have reported that Tiger made some offers to re-up the pre-nup, in effect paying Elin $60 million to stay with him for another two years.  But we need to strike while the 9-iron’s hot, so…who gets the coffin?   Cast your vote and we’ll send a Wedding Ring Coffin to the winning spouse. 

As always, if you have an appropriate message to be engraved on the plaque, let us know in the comments.

While Marcotte’s proposal appears to be a satirical commentary on California’s position on gay marriage and is highly unlikely to move forward, it does give you something to think about.  Can you imagine if divorce was actually banned?  If people knew going into a marriage that there was absolutely no way out, I’m certain most people would never take the chance of entering into marriage.  Airplanes have ejection seats and ships have lifeboats—-shouldn’t marriage have an escape hatch, too? 

Outlawing divorce would ultimately be the end of marriage.  Think of the havoc that would wreak on the economy.  Bridal shops, florists, photographers, and musicians would be affected.  Divorce lawyers would become extinct (okay, that wouldn’t be such a loss).  Not to mention, outlawing divorce would make the Wedding Ring Coffin obsolete…

Divorce is never easy, so it can’t hurt to try to focus on the positive things and be thankful for whatever good you can find in such a dificult situation. 

What are you thankful for?

Maybe I’m a traditionalist, but there is something to be said for monogamy.  I like the idea of being committed to one person, but with people living to an average age of 78, maybe it’s just too many years to devote to one person.  Serial monogamy might be a good option.  Rather than being monogamous with one person for 50 years, how about two 25-year relationships instead?  Or five 10-year relationships?

Or is monogamy simply a dated concept?  Many couples have begun to explore other, non-traditional ways to keep their relationships going.  Open marriages and polyamory allow each partner to “dabble” in other relationships, while at the same time staying committed to one another. 

Check out this link and tell us what you think: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/10/28/monogamy.realistic.today/index.html?section=cnn_latest

As I was staring up at the ceiling,  I kept thinking about that episode of “Sex and the City” where Miranda, who lives alone, almost chokes.  She basically performs the Heimlich Maneuver on herself and then she calls Carrie, freaking out, thinking she could have died alone in her apartment.  That’s how I was feeling, totally helpless and all alone.  I had visions of being found, laying prostrate on the living room floor having starved to death because I couldn’t get to the kitchen.  But then I realized I was just feeling sorry for myself.  Several friends had called while I was laid up and when I told them what had happened, they all offered help.  I hate to impose, so I declined.  But then everyone called again to check up and  several insisted on coming by—with food, heating pads, and just to keep me company.

Having friends stop by and take care of me made a huge difference.  It made the days go by faster and completely uplifted my mood.  And I realized—my situation really was just like Miranda’s.  Like her, I don’t currently have a significant other and I live alone.  But I’m not alone.  Like Miranda, I have my own Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte and many more good friends.  Maybe soon there’ll be a Mr. Big.

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On her blog, Lavinge wrote “Deryck and I have been together for six-and-a-half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship. “

The couple had been working on several songs together for Avril’s upcoming CD. Apparently remaining friends does not include remaining collaborators. Word is that Lavigne wants to remove any evidence of Whibley from the CD and will be reworking the songs.

Who gets the coffin? Cast your vote and we’ll send a Wedding Ring Coffin to the one with the most votes. If you have an idea for an appropriate message to be engraved, let us know in a comment.