According to a recent survey of Americans aged 18 – 29, 30% say that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives.  That got me thinking—how would you define a successful marriage? 

Most people would probably automatically say that divorce equals an unsuccessful marriage.   But if a long term marriage eventually fizzles out and results in divorce, does that make it unsuccessful?  What about all those years before the divorce when the couple were happy and built a life together?   If a married couple spend decades of misery together but never divorce, would that be considered a successful marriage?  Is it just a question of sticking it out? 

How would you measure the success of a marriage?

John Marcotte, a web designer in California, has started a movement to outlaw divorce in his state.  He was motivated to start the movement in response to California’s ban on gay marriage.  “Since California has decided to protect traditional marriage, I think it would be hypocritical of us not to sacrifice some of our own rights to protect traditional marriage even more.”

While Marcotte’s proposal appears to be a satirical commentary on California’s position on gay marriage and is highly unlikely to move forward, it does give you something to think about.  Can you imagine if divorce was actually banned?  If people knew going into a marriage that there was absolutely no way out, I’m certain most people would never take the chance of entering into marriage.  Airplanes have ejection seats and ships have lifeboats—-shouldn’t marriage have an escape hatch, too? 

Outlawing divorce would ultimately be the end of marriage.  Think of the havoc that would wreak on the economy.  Bridal shops, florists, photographers, and musicians would be affected.  Divorce lawyers would become extinct (okay, that wouldn’t be such a loss).  Not to mention, outlawing divorce would make the Wedding Ring Coffin obsolete…

A recent article on CNN’s website poses the question, “Is it realistic to expect people to be monogamous?”  If you look at so many public figures, from movie stars to politicians, it would be hard to make a case for monogamy.  It seems like everyone gets caught cheating.

Maybe I’m a traditionalist, but there is something to be said for monogamy.  I like the idea of being committed to one person, but with people living to an average age of 78, maybe it’s just too many years to devote to one person.  Serial monogamy might be a good option.  Rather than being monogamous with one person for 50 years, how about two 25-year relationships instead?  Or five 10-year relationships?

Or is monogamy simply a dated concept?  Many couples have begun to explore other, non-traditional ways to keep their relationships going.  Open marriages and polyamory allow each partner to “dabble” in other relationships, while at the same time staying committed to one another. 

Check out this link and tell us what you think: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/10/28/monogamy.realistic.today/index.html?section=cnn_latest

You may have heard about the JK Wedding Entrance Dance video that exploded onto YouTube with over 14,000,000 views and made celebrities out of newlyweds Jill Petersen and Kevin Heinz. Well now there is the JK Divorce Entrance Dance created by Indigo Productions.  The parody doesn’t take place in a church, but in a courtroom complete with dancing bailiffs, jiggy judge, flipping groom, and a slow-motion fight scene.