I recently wrote an article about men who suddenly disappear (Abracadabra, August 29, 2008).  You know the kind I mean—the ones who are too cowardly to tell you they don’t want to see you anymore.  Maybe they changed their minds or they met someone else.  You don’t know what happened because they never explain, they just vanish—POOF!  I thought that was confusing, but how about when they suddenly reappear?

First there was the friend who dated a guy at least half a dozen times and then he suddenly disappeared.  Four months later, she receives a text message from him, “Hi, how was your summer?” She was completely baffled and had no idea how to respond.  Being the polite type, she didn’t think it was appropriate to completely ignore him.  She texted him back with a simple, “Fine. Yours?”  I guess he just needed an opening because his next couple of texts were flirtatious and then he suggested they go to a movie that night.  Needless to say, she declined.

Then there was the friend who dated a guy for several months.  About one month after professing his love for her, he vanished into thin air.  Then out of the blue, 10 months after his disappearance, he sends her an email.  It was a pretty innocuous email, he forwarded some photos that he thought she’d be interested in. But he sent it to her business email address rather than her personal account, ended with “hope all is well with you,” and signed it with his full name, like he’d do with a business letter.  Not only was she confused by his sudden reappearance, she was also annoyed.  No word for 10 months and this is how he makes contact? She debated whether or not to respond (she’s polite, too) but in the end she decided that his email didn’t warrant a response.

To me, the sudden disappearance is definitely the act of a coward and the sudden reappearance by text or email is just as cowardly.  A real man with real intentions would have the courage to call or come knocking on your door.  What do you think?