Why is it that after getting divorced most women still long for another committed relationship? It seems like all the single women I know are just dying to meet someone, to find that special man to share their lives with. While some break ups are amicable and painless, most are not. Usually there’s a lot of unhappiness leading up to the split and things continue to go downhill until the bitter end. There’s often a lot of fighting, cursing, scheming, and general nastiness involved. So why would any woman want to put herself through all of that again?
I’ve decided it’s kind of like pregnancy and childbirth. First, a woman goes through 9 months filled with an assortment of attacks on her body — morning sickness, weight gain, stretch marks, varicose veins, sore breasts, and hemorrhoids to name a few. Then there’s the labor and delivery, a long, painful event involving bleeding, stretching, cutting, and tearing in various places. There’s often screaming and cursing involved and finally complete relief at having survived this bodily assault followed by a vow to NEVER go through that again. So why do so many women go on to have more children? Because just as time heals that episiotomy, it also helps you to forget the pain of childbirth.
And there’s the comparison. Even though a divorce can be incredibly painful, over time you somehow manage to forget about all the pain. Well, maybe it’s not completely forgotten but with time, it doesn’t seem as bad as when you were actually going through it. Instead of remembering only the negatives of that relationship, there are thoughts and hopes of love in a new committed relationship.
Are you ready for the birth of a new relationship?
Sue Says:
I have often wondered this myself. I have been a single mum for over 9 years ago. After getting over the shell shock of the separation and divorce I went back on the road looking for my night in shining armour. After finding several duds I did find one for a while I still have feelings for, but after two years he ended it by telephone saying he “couldn’t give me what I wanted”. Needless to say he had never actually asked ME what I wanted…!!! I guess he just wasn’t that into me! Then I tried internet dating. After almost twelve months trying to tell myself that this guy was worth the trouble he turned into an axe murderer. For almost a year he had been pretending to be a man that he wasn’t! The next guy I dated (very briefly) was just unable to tell the truth and wasn’t that good at hiding it despite the fact that I told him on first meeting that the most important thing to me in a relationship was honesty!
Needless to say he was the straw that broke the camel’s back. For over a year now I haven’t been looking for a knight in shining armour. I have concentrated on my children, my home and a new career. I have felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders and a new peace. To be honest the merest thought of a relationship fills me with fear and dread. I am at the place right now where I feel I no longer need to be rescued, nor do I need to share my life with a man. I have so much more time for the pursuits that I love, freedom of choice, time for my friends and most of all I have more time and emotional energy for my two beautiful children. I think I have finally found the secret to my own happiness….Singledom!!!!!!!